It was NOT ME who let my child eat his bedtime snack in the bathtub because I was trying to hurry him into bed but he wanted a snack and he needed a bath as well. Kill two birds with one stone I say. I would never let my DS eat a soggy banana because it kept falling into the bathtub. Nope, not me.
It was also NOT ME who started laughing at her son while I was cutting his nails because I told him if he did not hold still and listen, then I would (insert appropriate punishment here: caning, quartering, waterboarding, etc) him. He said "Look Mama I'm listening!" and sat still as you please. It wasn't me who laughed until I cried because he looked so serious while I was sitting back giggling. Nope, I would NEVER laugh at his expense.
While we're on the subject, I would NEVER NEVER bribe my child to go pee in the potty because I'm tired and hungry. "Yes sweetie, if you pee in the potty, I'll let you play with your new train and stay up late and I'll buy you a Ferrari and etc..." I'm a better mom than that and I have the most patience in the world with my toddler.
And finally, it is NOT ME who counts going to the grocery store at 9pm without my child or husband as "me time". I DO NOT always listen to children's cds in the car with DS and going to the store is NOT my chance to listen to grown up music and just be by myself for an hour. Too bad I only live 2 minutes from the grocery store....
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